“I have some leftover wiener saftgulasch if you’re hungry.” I set my purse on the side table near the sofa and started into the kitchen. Coming back to my apartment after talking to the doctor and confirming that we were going to be parents in November was surreal. That seemed so far away, and yet so close.
“Not sure what that is, but I’m a guy. I’ll eat anything, and I’m starving.” Gil sat down on the sofa, still looking a little dazed.
“It’s kind of like beef stew,” I said. “It’s delicious.”
“I’m going to get fat if I keep hanging out with you,” Gil said. Not likely. As an athlete he was honed and beautiful. I’d only seen him without clothes on once, but that was enough to seer the image into my brain forever.
“Sympathy weight, they call it,” I told him. The stew was already cooked, so I just needed to warm it on the stove. There was also a bag of bakery rolls on the counter, which I took to the table along with a stick of butter.
When I turned from setting the food on the table, Gil was right behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled my hair away from my neck, and draped it over one shoulder. “Food smells really good.” He lowered his face to my neck and kissed me there.
I leaned back into him and melted. “You smell really good.”
He kissed my neck one more time, and I turned to wrap my arms around him and pressed my lips to his. This was the first time we’d kissed passionately in a long time, and I quickly got lost in our embrace. Until he backed me against the table, and we almost knocked the food off the plates.
“Let’s eat,” Gil said, barely breaking eye contact. “I’m very, very hungry.”
Food didn’t seem to be the object of his desire, but that’s what I fed him.
For about twenty minutes.
As we stared at each other across the table, we communicated a different desire, hunger for food satiated. Hunger for each other, not even close.
“Veronika,” Gil whispered with a pained expression. “I need to leave now.”
I didn’t answer with words, just shook my head back and forth slowly.
“You’re not making this easy on me.” He groaned and didn’t release my gaze.
“Nothing in life is easy,” I said.
“Tell me to go home,” he said.
“You are home.”
We stared at each other for a long moment.
Not sure if I moved first or if he did, but suddenly we were in each other’s arms and falling onto the sofa, lips pressed together, bodies pressed together, hands everywhere, legs intertwined.
We didn’t have sex. We didn’t even take each other’s clothes off. But we connected in a way I didn’t realize was possible. We kissed for what felt like hours and finally just lay in each other’s arms, breathing peacefully.
Before he fell asleep, Gil whispered, “I think I love you.”
“I think I love you too,” I whispered back, then settled my head onto his chest and let myself drift away.
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